I Have Every Reason To Be Happy.
So Tell Me Darling, Why Is It So Hard?

Hi, I'm Nikita and this is where I pour my heart out. You can find my main blog here.

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May 20th

I can’t get to sleep. Great. This just means another couple of hours of thinking about everything that I’ve done wrong, wondering why I’m not good enough, realizing why I’m not good enough, crying, trying to shut down my brain, asking myself why I ever thought I would have a chance with you, crying, thinking about you some more, crying, thinking about death, getting so fucking scared I won’t be able to breathe, crying, pondering the earth’s existence, crying, crying, crying….
Fuck yes. It’s going to be a good couple of hours.

May 20th I’m still waiting for that day when I will bloom.
May 20th
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